I wrote this on the way back from grandmothers funeral. Jan 15,2013 Miles at 5 This is January and I am sitting on a plane coming back from Trinidad after the funeral of my maternal grandmother. Miles is home with Norris for the week and Norris has filed for divorce from me and has moved out of the house. I should be more sad about Norris leaving but he has shown himself over the last 3 years to be so rude, selfish, hurtful and coarse that there is nothing in him to admire or love. He reminds me of a preening peacock with no sense of humor and is quick to anger and to cause an arguement at the earliest opportunity. Miles did not really miss him during the deployment and most every day I had to force him to talk to Norris on the Skype. Norris I had to make call Miles because there would be periods of almost 2 weeks when he wouldn't call and Miles would get sick because of stress. Miles is a kid who will get physically ill if he is stressed. Norris was the absolute wrong choice to marry and I should have tested him more and known better but I was so lonely in Pensacola and was also impressed by him being a doctor. It will be a long time before I want to give anyone a chance again. 7 wasted years of my life, always thinking things were just about to get better, just a couple more months, just a little more effort on my part. But there are worse mistakes I could have made and my situation is one that will help me in working with patients. I learned a lot about the military and the people in it that I never knew. The mentality that makes them think they are good guys while hurting and wounding others and calling a death "collateral damage" is unfortunately strong in Norris and he will undoubtedly hurt Miles and I tremendously now that he is ready to divorce. And there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to endure it until he loses interest in us. Hopefully he will be like his uncle, remarry and forget all about us and stop causing us pain and disappointment. Until then I am preparing myself for 2013 to be a tough year and it has already started with the divorce and facing the loss of my identity as a married woman and the freedom to tailor Miles' every experience to his advantage by having unlimited resources of time and good financial resources. In the year between when Miles turned 4-5 he became able to swim in the pool by himself pretty well. He is an intuitive and tactful person even at this age and he is very driven to accomplish things once he decides he is interested in something. I wonder if every child is this cool and then I spend time with my friends' kids and I don't think so. He is a natural comic from before he could talk. I remember him putting 3 binkies in his mouth to make me laugh. The other day he says "mom could you get me some water?" And I said "yes, but what's the magic word?" And he said "well we are not magicians, I don't know any magic words to make water appear". And he fills me in on the gossip in his class. I ask him "so who went to the principals office today? Did Zachary go again?" And he tells me very seriously, almost regretfully' "well, Zachary didn't go today. I hate to tell you, but Montse and Taylor caught that flu though". His teachers just love him. Ms. Amber says he will go to Harvard and that she wishes she could go back in time and be 4 years old so she could be best friends with him. He can read simple books. The other night he is reading an early reader to me and it's about Ironman. One part says "but Tony has a secret" and Miles turns to me and says "if it's a secret why are they putting it in this book?,look at this book, they are telling Spider-Man's secret, Captain America and the Hulk too!"