Christmas Eve Confessions

Its 9:01pm on Christmas Eve. I just spent the last hour trying to get a panicked Miles to go to sleep.
It all started well enough. He made a tray with me for Santa with milk and cookies and carrots for the reindeer. He drew a picture for Santa to take with him. I got him dressed in his Elmo Christmas Pajamas which he wore to the Polar Express and where he already met Santa.
Then he starts fretting about Santa. And I think hes just excited. And I tuck him in and ask him like I do every night whether he wants to pick the story or wants me to. And he mumbles " You can pick the story, I'm looking for a place to hide from Santa". And sure enough I see him burrowing under his covers and putting his pillow over his head and looking very distressed. I ask him why he's hiding from Santa and he says its because "I like Santa when it is daytime and i can go see him, but I dont like Santa to come and see me when I am sleeping".
At this point I call Norris up and Norris explains that we will be up when Santa gets here and he will be coming in the fireplace in our bedroom and that Norris will walk Santa down to the tree and show him where to put the presents then Santa will be on his way once he has his snack and gets the carrots for the Reindeer. Hes still not happy. So Norris texts Santa and says could he please leave Miles' presents in his clubhouse in the backyard and not come inside. And Santa texts back that he will and that Miles is on the good list.
This does not pacify Miles. He starts crying that he does not like Santa, that Santa is mean. And i ask him why Santa is mean. And he says "Some children really want presents but Santa says they are naughty and he will not give them presents". And so I ask if that is Santa being mean or the kids being bad. And he maintains that Santa is the mean one. So I ask if he is having a guilty concience about something he did that was naughty that I dont know about. And he says "I did something naughty". And I ask him what. And he says " I put the cord from the pull along frog in the plug hole". Which he KNOWS IS WRONG!!! And Im seriously trying to maintain a Motherly composure but Norris
is busting a gut laughing so hard.
So I tell him that its good that he told me his naughty deed but that he is still a good boy and he can go to bed and he will still get his presents from Santa.
He is totallly lobbying for Santa to not come to our house anymore and for Norris and I to buy his presents instead. Clearly he has figured that he has us right where he wants us. Seems Santa and his minion the Elf on the Shelf (who he had a breakdown over back in November) are unknown entities. He wanted that Elf out of the house ( and tell him to take his box too, but leave the book)!!
I just love this kid. This has been the most wonderful Christmas of my life that I can remember.

Threenager

Miles turned 3 and we had a big party to celebrate. Pictures not back yet but will post in the future.
At 3 his personality is that of a charmer. He is in a good mood, singing laughing or just being pleasant most of the time. He likes to please me and he likes to know what rules are and be recognized for doing well. He also likes to point out to me when other people are breaking rules.
For example I told him that people need to wear helmets if riding bicycles and motorcycles. In Florida we saw a lot of motorcyclist without helmets because there is no law there. He would point them out and I said one time "his mommy would probably not be happy to see him with no helmet". EVERY DAY since then he scans the road for people and either says "look, look, that guy over there is wearing his helmet! His mommy is probably happy of him". Or "look, he is not wearing his helmet, his mommy is probably not very happy of him". And it is said in a woeful voice that is so sincere if the rider has no helmet.
He is adjusting really well to school and is excited to go everyday. His appetite has lessened considerably since his 2's when he was like a termite. He is not as open to new foods. Today he refused to try apple pie. So he totally missed out on that.
He has moments more now of being willful, not wanting to be told what to do. But he will still comply. Usually my best tactic is to ask him to do something but be ok with him taking about 10-30 seconds to do it because he has his pride. Not sure if I should be demanding instant obedience or not. I tend towards avoiding a power struggle with him because I feel that once we have a falling out he tends to be more difficult the rest of the day. I also think it's ok for him to think things are his idea and want to empower him to believe that brushing his teeth or picking up his toys are his ideas and preferences vs that he is bending to my will.
Some of the more tiresome behaviors now are mimicking children who are doing annoying things, stalling before bed (need water, blankets are messed up, one more story) and having a crying fit before going to bed.
He is not a fan of taking on the phone. He asks me to buy EVERYTHING HE SEES ON TV COMMERCIALS for kids! I ask him what it is "I don't know what it is.". And "I don't know what it does" and "I not know what I like about it". Then he is on to the next commercial. Same with toy catalogs. He loves to look at them and pick out things he likes and wants. It's really cute. He mostly wants to talk about them and we spend lots of time looking at things in catalogs.
He sleeps in his own bed still and he loves to lie in bed and read the books that I read him for bedtime story after I'm done.
He sometimes screams this high pitched scream when he can't get his way and it's really annoying. He is still super loving to me especially for his age compared to his peers. And he is a bit cocky because he knows he is cute and how much the other moms like him because he is well behaved. He will tell his friends "Cameron, don't hit your friends". Or "Kent, I don't think that you are making a good choice right now".
I love love how present he is with whatever he does. Just so engrossed. I long for that clutter free mind of his.
I feel satisfied a lot with how he is advancing but always anxious about the future.

Closing the baby chapter

My little baby started preschool on August 30, 2010. I feel like I hit the jackpot with his school. It's a lab school at a nearby university and usually has a year long waiting list. One of my friends was on the list for 9 months and got in and wanted me to be one of the people authorized to pick her daughter up. I went to get fingerscanned and set up for that and it was 2 weeks before school started. The receptionist was nice enough to give me a tour and I was impressed by the security of the school, the accessibility that the parents had to be involved in the classroom and that the curriculum is research based instead of religious or ideologically based. I put my name on the waiting list very unsure but I guess after a year of waiting many people felt hopeless about their child getting in and went elsewhere because we got an acceptance letter the next week!
The program requires that the parents enroll at the university and go to an early childhood education course for 2 semesters. It's one night a month for 2 hours for 8 months. I think it's great but I've heard other people say they would never do that. The parents are also obligated to have one of them volunteer in the classroom as a parent aide one morning a month for 3 hours.
I already did mine and it was stressful dealing with all those 3 year olds and I was ready to be done at the end! Preschool teachers have a tough job. It's not all storytime and snacks. The biggest challenge is the ability to keep calm and not scream when some kid openly defies you again and again and you need to go back and redirect over and over.
I thought Miles would have some problems with adjusting and he has. But Ms. Geri did win him over before he even got to school and it was so simple - she sent him a postcard in the mail! It was the first piece of mail he has gotten in a very very long time. He loves that postcard and will show it off and read it to anyone who comes to the house.
His school even has an outdoor classroom that he can be enrolled in next year. I am pretty sure we will do it as it will probably be the only time in his life when he will get to spend the majority of his day out doors and playing and learning. Plus I want him to be with all the hippie kids whose parents would enroll them in an outdoor classroom!! Bound to be good kids and parents who hike and love nature like we do.
He had his 3 year checkup early since he had to do the school health card and September 9 he was 35 pounds and 100 centimeters tall. I dont know why they do pounds and metric but they do. Either way he's in the 90th percentile for height and weight. But the pediatrician ( I miss Dr. Katz, what a caring and wonderful first pediatrician he had) whose name I forget got on our case about the binky. She had little interest in Miles and mostly spoke to me to ask me things that he could have answered if she gave time. Anyway she gave him a lecture about the binky and was on her way. So that night we painfully went without it. It was not nearly so bad that night actually, just took a long time and he sort of mournfully whined. But nap and bedtimes the next 4 days were awful. He cried like a heroin addict without a fix. I couldn't take it. And too late I learned about the process to cut the binky. I now hate that pediatrician. Really, she couldn't give me that information? I really don't see the point in needlessly making a child cry about missing something he loves. He got past it but now naptimes have gotten really challenging and he is resisting the nap and passing out at 4pm.
So to replace the binky he has been very resourceful. During the day he wants chewing gum constantly. He must chew about 5-7 pieces of gum a day. And at night he wants the book I just got done reading him for bedtime story and he lies in bed and "reads" himself to sleep. I went in there tonight around 930 to get his book out of his bed so he wouldnt sleep on one and he'd gone to his bookshelf and had 3 books and they were all on his bed in a little pile and the last one was laying open and he was sleeping curled around them. Such a sweet little man.
He has been naming inanimate things. Our car has been named Hansitafam. I get harassed to "bathe" Hansitafam, "feed" Hansy and get reports from the back seat that Hansy is driving so crazy or Hansy is driving so safe.
He named his tummy Tump. He will tell me "Tump is hungry" "Te Tump says he needs a snack". "Te Tump has milk and juice and crackers in him".
Other names:
nose - Humpennose
Fingers - Finks
Ears -Finklears
Hair - Hairkikt
Lips -Lipsy
Penis -Petesys
Bottom - Bumtix
and theres more but I cant remember them.

And he has started playing board games. First played Candy Land September 15. He is pretty good at playing it already and loves to play. He doesn't have the longest attention span so I usually stack the decks so the ice cream or lollipop card come up after a couple turns so he can play till the end.
He HATES to lose. Such a bad loser. One time I got there first and he started screaming and crying and hit the pieces off the board and stormed off. I have no idea where he learned this behavior.

Tonight we played Candyland with Norris via Skype. That was pretty cool and I think Norris enjoyed it too.
Ok Miles, enough memories for now, hope you like these someday and are not embarrassed Bunky.

Identity

Miles has been conceptualizing who he is and his identity lately. Of course he does not know that's what he is doing. He does not want to be called a baby any more. He is a big boy. And he calls himself "Milesy boy". And he will often say " I am a chef and an athlete and a b-boy (dancer), and a big boy and Milesy boy!". He is a chef because he invents recipes like "blueberries, blueberry yogurt, chocolate syrup and sprinkles" or "banana sAndwiches" which are little round slices of ban a a with peanut butter in the middle or "letter sandwiches" which are sandwiches cut into letter shapes. He is an athlete because he plays soccer, goes swimming, rides his tricycle and bike with training wheels and plays basketball and tball at home. He is a b-boy because I took him to a show to see some breakdancing and now he has 'moves' and they are really cute. Milesy boy is just a charmer from any way I look at it!

Dust devil!

fixing dinner tonight and we had the blinds open to backyard and witnessed a dust devil come up into our garden just on the patio and throw the playhouse and chalkboard around, stir up a lot of dust and leave. The desert is so cool! Thankfully nothing and no one was hurt by this mini tornado so it was fun to witness but loud and confusing also.

Lonely times

So it's just Miles and I for the next little while here while Norris is off for a bit. It's been 10 days now and tonight was the first night we didn't have plans with friends or something to do. And it was a bit challenging and lonely. Miles just was fussing about everything and not wanting to be home and I have a summer cold and not really as patient and resilient as I could be and I was so happy when he went to bed.
We did decide on a preschool to send him to. And he starts August 30 and will be there 3 days from 930-1230. And I will volunteer in class 1x a month. So that I think will help him to stay busy and have fun and not miss daddy too much.
He's been angry with norris when he calls and won't talk to him on the phone. Luckily Norris is very understanding. But last night Miles got up at 4 am fussing and wanting to be held and told me he misses Norris. So we made plans to do something about it and he mailed him a homemade card today. Gotta get better at sending out packages and cards a couple times a week and it will make things easier I think.

Notes

Miles is sleeping next to me right now, I am listening to his breathing and feel him curled up so soft and warm and good. He peed in his bed so I had to strip his sheets and bring him in our bed. He asked me "can I sleep in your bed?" and I said "mmm hmm" and he said "is that all you gonna say?" I said "well yes, what did you think I would say honey?" and he said " I thought you would say don't pee pee in my bed!". And he smiled. Just a little heart melter.
It's that time where he is almost 3 and can enroll in pre pre school and I have looked at a few but nothing seems great and we work on stuff all the time at home together so I'm torn about what to do. He seems to know about as much as other kids I know who are his age and going to school and I don't think he lacks for socialization with friends. And once they start school the lifelong process of them drifting away from the home and into the world starts. All that said, I still am not sure what I'm going to do.

2 year, 8months

Time is flying by. Unbelievable I have not updated in 8 months. Miles is 99%potty trained now, talks in full long sentences, has opinions about lots of things and knows how to test you to see how serious you are and what the limits are.
We started moving into the new house April 26 and somewhere around that time he moved into his own bedroom and own bed where he still sleeps. This is so bittersweet to me as I miss his sweet breath and hair and face snuggled up next to me while knowing it is for the best that he learn to sleep on his own. I usually read him a story to go to bed or nap. But today I had some music on in the hall to try to drown out some noise downstairs while I read his story and he sat up and said "Mommy, can you please stop reading, I'm trying to listen to the music". And that's how it is now. He is sweet and polite but has his opinions and wants and is good about expressing them.
He was in the newspaper the other day, the Las Vegas Review Journal. A pic of him smiling and petting an otter. So sweet. I will try to post it.
Things he knows:
My phone number
All our birthdays
His alphabet
Can identify a lot of letters by their shape
Knows a lot of colors
Can count things
Can do a little math - addition
Can invent little stories - take his animals on a ride in his pirate ship to the San Diego Zoo
Thinking about good and bad, nice vs mean, making judgements e.g Bella is a good girl,Bodhi is a biter boy, bad bad Bodhi.
Concern when others are upset
Loves loves loves music and singing and dancing
Funny- will tell me to stop singing because I am scaring the neighbor dog. Tells Bella and Bodhi to stop running around the house, that it is not a dog park.
Amazing memory. Still spontaneously talk about his birthday party and the elephant bouncy castle and his cake and his friends. Remembers things large and small.
Very cuddly and loving.
Still sucking that damned binky and constantly negotiating to get it " I sleepy mommy, I need my binky" - a half hour after waking up.
Will try to update soon with pics and keep better log.